December 25, 2007

Santa Needs a Quieter Sleigh

While Saint Nick has clearly sustained viability in a go-go world of e-commerce, e-greeting cards and PayPal, his transportation vehicle is in serious need of an upgrade - and I for one call on Silicon Valley to aid him in his quest to more efficiently deliver gifts to children young and old worldwide, in less time, with less ruckus and more efficiency.

Depending on which part of the world you reside, Santa may stop at your home anywhere between 12:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. local time on Christmas morning, from what I understand.

This year, he reached Palo Alto just about 3 a.m. I know this, because he woke me up, and we haven't been to sleep since.

His overburdened sleigh, with the unmistakeable clattering of hooves and heavy breathing from the crew of reindeer, out of shape from their months of inactivity, delivered such a clamor that it not only startled me awake, but jolted our two dogs and a cat out of their slumber, sending us on a so-far unsuccessful quest to get them back to rest and comfortable in their beds.

Now, nearing 5 a.m., while Santa is no doubt well west of here, his impact is still being felt. The presents are glistening in the living room, but while we're awake, there's little we can do, until my wife wakes up, and my parents arrive later this morning. Christmas morning, for us, has started far too early, and there's a certain jolly old man we have to blame.

Silicon Valley, if you can harness the power of the sun to energize homes, and send data across the world at the speed of light, surely you can find a way to reduce the drastic amount of burden left on this one man each year, and give those of us with sensitive ears and a restless stable of critters a chance to get through the night without interruption. This is your call, and duty.

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