May 10, 2006

Top Ten Reasons W. Knows Jeb Would Be Great Prez

You may have seen the news that George W. said he believes his brother Jeb Bush, current governor of Florida, would make "a great president". Well, we thought about it and, from his perspective, we have to agree. Here are the top ten reasons Jeb Bush would make "a great president".

1. In comparison to George's tenure as president, so long as Jeb doesn't sell the entire United States to Saudi Arabia for a single barrel of oil, he would probably be instantly canonized.

2. George has proven you don't even need to know how to read to be president.

3. Having already overseen the biggest voting scam in the history of the country during 2000's presidential race, Jeb is a perfect fit to follow his brother's footsteps in ignoring national law for the sake of the party.

4. Both Jeb and George have shown they can ask their secretaries of state to follow their every word, even when it makes them both contradictory and mentally vacant.

5. Number of terrorist attacks in Florida since his taking elected office? Zero.

6. Number of wars initiated from Florida based on faulty intelligence? Zero.

7. Jeb understands living nearby a hostile region, and avoiding conflict. In Florida, it's Cuba, sitting 90 miles off shore. For his brother, it's basically anybody outside of the White House. He'd adjust easily.

8. Bush - it's the new Kennedy. Only not good looking. Or smart. Or charismatic. Or likeable. Okay, it's not like the Kennedys at all.

9. Both George and Jeb are still taking orders from Daddy.

10. With George's approval rating sitting around 33%, according to most polls, Jeb could be more popular in America even if he alienated all of the women, the entire black population, and Ivy League graduates through foolish endeavors.
Listening to ''The Hand That Feeds'', by Nine Inch Nails (Play Count: 2)

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