My Kids' Early Lives Are Already Entwined In Social Media

So far, I've held off on doing the silly thing, signing up my 4-month old twins, Matthew and Sarah, with user names to popular Web services, even though others thought I would. I haven't purchased them domain names, dedicated servers, or purchased them their own digital devices - yet.

This is because I expect by the time they're ready to use them that many of the brands will have changed, and because to have yet another login (or two) would be too tempting, and I'd find myself tweeting as an infant, and that would be completely silly. Also, who knows what kind of user names these kids will want once they've realized they have a choice? Surely not the fuddy-duddy version I'm bound to select.

In March, I said loudly, Our Unborn Kids Will Wear Your Web 2.0 Schwag. And while they're still small, and haven't grown into everything, they're doing their best. (Not that they wouldn't mind more logo clothes - e-mail me if you're interested.)

But, consider the following, all of which are true:

• FriendFeed co-founder Paul Buchheit and his wife knew we were pregnant before my family did.
• I posted the announcement that we were pregnant to the blog, before telling many family members.
• Travis Parsons of Browzmi was the first person I told that we were going into labor, and I told him via Facebook.
• The labor process was posted to both Twitter and FriendFeed overnight and into the day.
• When Matthew and Sarah were born, I was wearing a Disqus shirt.
• Matthew wore a newborn Google onesie when only two days old.
• Matthew was hired, and subsequently, fired, by Allen Stern at CenterNetworks.
• Matthew has been featured in his Strands onesie on the Strands blog.
• A YouTube video screenshot featuring Sarah was posted to CNET last Friday.
• Both kids have been over-exposed on FriendFeed, having their pictures posted frequently.

All this has happened before the pair have learned to crawl, talk, read, or walk. But they're growing up in front of laptop screens, they've been pictured with the iPhone, and have attended Silicon Valley gatherings. Sarah met Loic Lemeur of Seesmic, and both met Drew Olanoff of Strands and MG Siegler of VentureBeat.


Matthew Goes LOLCat for Strands
Whether they realize it or not, as social media becomes more intertwined with every aspect of our lives, they too have become intertwined with social media.


Sarah Gets Chatty Last Thursday On YouTube
Today, Matthew and Sarah turn four months old, so they are effectively 1/3 years old. While I've gone light in terms of dousing the blog with their pictures, you can stay updated in a few places:

Internal FriendFeed postings on my feed:
http://friendfeed.com/louisgray?service=internal

Our SmugMug page (needs updating):
http://louisgray.smugmug.com/

Our YouTube page:
http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=asypta

Why the Embargo Process Is Broken and Why We Still Need It

In the world of public relations, press management and blogging, an embargo sets a date and time by which a story can be written. Often, the embargo date and time coincides with a press release from the company, a Web site refresh, or the product's availability. Assuming all goes well, an embargo restricts all outlets from publishing a story until all is ready, and assuming multiple parties have been briefed, you can expect a waterfall of stories and press coverage to flow in a short period of time.


But, as you know, any time humans are involved, things can go awry, especially, as you see often in the blogosphere, you have a large number of media outlets that cover similar spaces, and a scarcity of topics. The resulting clamor to be heard amongst the noise, when so many different people are writing very similar stories, makes for an environment where the slightest bit of mistrust can turn into a simmering feud, or outright frustrating and finger-pointing, be it at a competitive blog, or the people behind the service being launched. Add in to the mix a rising number of inexperienced writers, prone to mistakes, with high levels of visibility, and this can happen with some regularity.

To start, why would a company ask for an embargo?

1. To be sure a product would not be pre-announced before it was ready.
2. To prepare and have enough time to brief all interested parties.
3. To ensure no favoritism was shown to any media outlet.

Why would media/press/bloggers agree to an embargo?

1. If they wouldn't agree, the company might not give them the story.
2. Because an embargo often comes with news ahead of time, allowing time for writing.
3. The service might have given them an interesting non-standard angle.

At an enterprise company, a media and analyst tour typically consists of a series of face to face meetings, plus conference calls, with an agreed upon date for a press release that coincides with the product's launch. Reporters often are looking for customer references and analyst references to validate the company's claims or add a wrinkle to the story.

For more bare-bones operations, including startups focused in the Web space, face to face meetings are less necessary. Sometimes, a series of e-mails, with potential for a phone call, is all that's needed. That's why you, on most blogs, rarely see quotes from a company's executives or customers, even if they had an extensive beta. Most bloggers, even if they have tested a product themselves, are echoing a press release or e-mail introduction from the service's founder. Again, a date is usually referenced in the e-mail to "go live".

Sounds good. Right? So why do these nicely laid plans fall apart?

On the company side:

1. Sometimes an embargo is for "everybody except one or two publications", who are allowed to break it.
2. Sometimes the Web site or company blog can go live before the embargo, in effect, scooping themselves.
3. Sometimes a story isn't all that much of a secret, and things leak to the point there's no reason for an embargo.

On the media/blog side:

1. Going first is seen as being "special", even if it's a matter of minutes.
2. Being first can make the originating blog get more attention and linkage, or prominence on sites like Techmeme.
3. Some blog management systems aren't fool-proof, enabling stories to go "before their time".

Clearly, you have some juxtaposed issues. The company launching an announcement would benefit from being covered by the most publications as possible, seen by the highest number of people. This is augmented by a need to be seen by publications with a high level of prestige. (Think Wall Street Journal, News.com, eWeek, TechCrunch, etc.) But there's something of a magnetic pull on press or blogs to go early, whether that's at midnight on the day of launch, or by posting five minutes before an embargo is lifted, and simply moving the timestamp, as has been known to happen. Blogs and press publications get a lot of visibility through gaining exclusives, and even if the same announcement has been sent to a wide audience, to hit the "post" button a little early, getting the word out first makes you appear more "in the know".

Whether intentional or not, blogs are rewarded for breaking embargoes, even if it hurts the launching service. And there's rarely any level of repercussion, as competing blogs in the know of the embargo are not naming names.

Of late, I've seen a healthy dose of complaining by some bloggers that other blogs have willingly or unwillingly violated an agreed-upon embargo. Yet, interestingly, it's a rare person who will name the offending party, even after their activity has clearly irked them.

See for instance:

Svetlana Gladkova of Profy:
"Very-very angry. Is it impossible to run a blog without breaking embargoes these days???"
08:23 PM August 18, 2008

Allen Stern of CenterNetworks:

"wtf is up with the broken embargoes this past week - 3 today, 5 in the last week - im feeling like busting out a video tonight"
06:32 PM August 18, 2008

Marshall Kirkpatrick of ReadWriteWeb:
"PR just called to say that mainstream media guy broke embargo, lol. you can't trust those mainstream media types with embargoes!"
02:18 PM August 15, 2008

Notice how even though they claim frustration and anger, nobody says who the offending parties are...

Embargoes serve a real purpose for the company making the announcement. They are there to build time to polish the product, to enable true beta testing, to set up press activity with multiple targets, and to get one's message distributed. Embargoes serve a purpose for the blogging community, for those who choose to follow them, to help guide an editorial calendar, or to be sure you're also talking about a story on the day of its debut. And while some people might wish they disappear, it's not going to happen, so long as companies look to synchronize their internal and external activity.

As we see a rise in the total number of bloggers writing on the same topics, the issue of some sites trying to get out a step ahead of others isn't going to go away. Those that play by the rules and follow the agreed-upon embargoes, are on occasion, going to get burned. But what doesn't help the situation is that nobody is making a list and checking it twice. Why complain if nobody is going to name names? If there are one, two, three or ten blogs that regularly break an embargo, and it's clear there is a pattern, it should be visible, and these sites should be avoided by companies like the plague.

I believe in and honor embargoes. I also love exclusives, and think that there is more than one way to launch a product. But this practice is tried and true, so long as we have more transparency. What disincentive is there for bloggers who break embargoes if nobody steps up?

Exposed: Blogging's Secret Next Generation

By Jesse Stay of Stay N' Alive (Identi.ca/FriendFeed)

I'm afraid to admit it, and feel ashamed for the Stay family name, but I can't take all the credit for my last article on Facebook removing features and the confusing nature of the new design. Yes, it's a shame, but I'm going to have to tell you the real story behind us guest bloggers on LouisGray.com. You see, it's not really us blogging most of the time. Louis Gray has an entire army of baby guest bloggers that post for him regularly. Louis recruits us, but in reality he really is looking for the amazing talents of our babies.

I'm going to come clean on this one though. I'm going to have to blame most of my last article about Facebook on my 4 month old son, Jesse III, who has recently been recruited as a new guest blogger for LouisGray.com. It appears we got the II's (from my name) and III's (from his name) mixed up as we were entering our logins that night and he very easily and mistakenly posted as myself that night.

I caught the mistake the next day and was able to quickly correct it, showing that Facebook's new design was definitely not easy enough for a baby to use. I mean, if he couldn't figure out the new Facebook redesign, how could I? I have since docked his allowance and limited him to just one binky per day for the incident, and it will never happen again. Coincidently, it was also him who posted on my blog awhile back, under his own name, saying he was on hiatus from Twitter. He didn't tell me beforehand and I was stuck eating his words as people thought it was actually me leaving Twitter. I mean, why couldn't Twitter allow suffix meta tags so we didn't have to share the same username? I have since found his counsel quite comforting though, as Identi.ca and FriendFeed seem to be working out pretty well for me so far. He certainly knows how to cause a stir though!

Louis Gray, in his open, family-oriented format, is no stranger to baby-blogging. After all, it was his baby Matthew that recently was the center (no pun intended) of the Gray Family/CenterNetworks controversy, and after much heartache and emotions he is now back blogging so I hear for his Dad when his Dad is too busy with work. You often wonder how Louis does it, following everything on FriendFeed, posting sometimes multiple times a day to this blog, and now on SocialMedian. Well, the answer is, so I hear, he doesn't - this is a family establishment here on LouisGray.com and Matthew is as much a part of the family as the rest of our babies are.

Cyndy Aleo-Carreira is also a welcomed guest blogger on LouisGray.com. What you may not know is that her 2-year old daughter, Pete, has been moonlighting on the side of her job with CenterNetworks.com to occasionally help out her mom on LouisGray.com. Yes, while Matthew has been criticized by Allen Stern for slacking on the job, sweet little Pete has also been spending a little time over here helping out in her spare time. We certainly appreciate the help! In fact, Cyndy's first post to LouisGray.com was actually a Seesmic video from her daughter, Pete. Cyndy does such great posts, it's hard to tell which ones her daughter may actually be helping her out on and which ones are actually Cyndy. Thank goodness they don't have the same name!

Next time you read a LouisGray.com guest post, think of the babies behind those posts. We may put our names in front of them, but in reality, our babies are the true reason behind Louis Gray's success. Louis wasn't joking when he said he is an "early adopter".

Jesse III's next post will be on Facebook privacy, for babies.

I Got a Mac OS X Trojan and Infected CenterNetworks. Oops.

As a sometimes smug Mac user for the overwhelming majority of my computer-using life, virus warnings, anti-virus software and security updates were always something "those other guys" had to deal with. Using my Mac, I would even have colleagues send me attachments from their Windows machines which they thought were viruses, so I could open them up in a text editor and see what mischief they had intended to cause. But today, I realized my laptop had somehow acquired a rare trojan that does hit Mac OS X, and the results of the bugger were actually more harmful for Allen Stern of CenterNetworks than they were for me. Oops.

This morning, Allen Stern presented a new video following a press conference he held that discussed his take on the "firing" of my son Matthew, who had secured a short-lived position in CenterNetworks' San Francisco bureau. As usual, Stern's tongue-in-cheek humor and deadpan delivery were very good. The conclusion reached by his video was that Matthew would be compensated out of court with the delivery of an "I love New York" t-shirt, and I quickly commented on his site that we agreed to the settlement.

But amusingly, having posted my comment, I noticed that virtually all of the ads on Allen's site were for pills that solved erectile dysfunction, and all the banners were rotating images of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, which made no sense on Allen's tech blog, and had absolutely zero to do with his story on my kid. So, I made screenshots, and jokingly sent a note to FriendFeed, saying, “I Just Hope the Money from these Ads Keeps CN "Up".


CenterNetworks' Ads Were All In Pill Form for Me
Allen, looking at the pictures and then back at his site, thought I was joking. But I wasn't. When he realized I was serious, this set off a flurry of calls by him to his advertising partners, swapping out of ads, and testing both on his side and mine, as we tried to figure out... was it him, or was it me?

Turns out it was all me, and separated by 3,000 miles, I was causing Allen's blood pressure to rise for no good reason. It turned out that at some point, recently, some file I downloaded hijacked my DNS settings on my MacBook Pro, and selectively overlaid his banner ads from Tribal Fusion, on both CenterNetworks and HTMLCenter, with these stupid Viagra ads. Meanwhile, my wife's laptop was fine, showing normal ads, while I was viewing the world through an odd filter.

So, I did some searching on the Web and found I had likely run into one of the few pieces of known Mac OS X malware out there, a Trojan, which disguised itself as a clean file. So, I decided to finally get some real anti-virus software to take a look at it, and found a solution from Intego called Virus Barrier, which looked a lot more Mac-friendly than dreck the Symantec guys offer. Sure enough, after paying to buy their software, installing, and rebooting, the offending file was found, masquerading as a QuickTime extension. The Intego software let me delete it, and all of a sudden, all was well. Allen's site now shows normal ads, and he doesn't carry the mark of a dope dealer.


Intego Virus Barrier Going Through My Files


Aha! A trojan has been located and destroyed!
Of course, this now raises the question... how did I get this on my machine? Some of the stories I read said the trojan could have been hiding in the form of a fake card game application, and others, as a tool that lets you watch adult videos. So... neither one of those makes sense. But despite that mystery, the good news is that I think it's all resolved. I have a product that will protect my Mac in the future if anything like this happens again, and I still know Allen Stern is on the up and up - a great blogger with a good sense of humor and values as well. It's just disappointing my stupid error somewhere dragged him through the mud through my "learning process".

Matthew's Story: From CenterNetworks' Future to Fired In A Month

Finding a writing position at a brand-name blog is hard to do, especially without having a significant resume, not to mention any references. So when Allen Stern of CenterNetworks offered my newborn son, Matthew, a position on his excellent blog, we of course struck at the deal. But in just a month, what at first seemed like a dream come true turned out to be a sordid tale of broken promises, unsafe working conditions and tears. A week after Stern publicly announced Matthew's firing, as a family, we've decided to tell our side of the story.

The fierce competition between East Coast and West Coast blogs these days is rivaling the old time feuds between East Coast and West Coast rappers. Based in New York, Stern has long been seeking the opportunity to open a Silicon Valley bureau, so this spring, when he learned we were expecting twins, he struck early, asking to sign up "whichever of the two kids was bigger". I naively accepted, not knowing that his request was due to the incredible stress that blogging and filing stories can be for a newborn.


Matthew Signed On to CenterNetworks In Days
Matthew and Sarah arrived on June 20th, he weighing a robust 5 pounds, and she, trailing at 4 pounds, 3 ounces. That made Matthew the candidate of record. The next four days were a whirlwind of deal-making, contracts being faxed from coast to coast, with little being given up on either side. Finally, the agreement completed, Matthew announced his signing, and was photographed with the world-famous CN sticker. The next day, Stern announced it to the world, and while he said "Of all the people I've hired over the years, this negotiation was the toughest," his listed demands were later proven to be a slap in the face.


Stern's Initial Set of Promises Included a New iPhone

But Stern Later Went Back On His Word

Over the next two weeks, Matthew made significant headway with CN, reaching out to Bay Area startups, reviewing alpha versions of Mac software and Web services, and even, somehow, transcribing quarterly conference calls. But while Stern publicly lauded his efforts in an update, the long hours, fatigue and strain were already becoming quite clear. As you can see from the follow-on post, Stern had openly reneged on the promised iPhone 3G, saying Matthew would get it "under no circumstances", despite it being promised in the initial agreement. Similarly, the promised crib with LCD panel and Wii Fit never materialized, which Stern attributed to "inventory shortages". Making matters worse, Stern would frequently call Matthew's home number at the start of East Coast business hours to talk strategy, despite it being only 5 a.m. Pacific.

The long hours and stress saw Matthew often falling asleep in front of his keyboard after filing a news story. He soon began to complain that he was unable to relax and casually visit his favorite sites, fearing an irate Stern would notice the gap in submissions and send yet another series of e-mails with even more assignments. And with every "like" or comment he placed on FriendFeed, Stern would just lose it - saying he was slacking off, or even worse, claiming he was manipulating activity on the site through creating hundreds of fake accounts. But it wasn't true, and try as Matthew would to explain he was just trying to catch up on the world outside of CenterNetworks, Stern wouldn't listen, ranting about how Mashable had scooped him on some new Facebook widget, or how ReadWriteWeb had gotten an exclusive look into a new AIR application that sent updates to Flickr and Twitter simultaneously, on Matthew's watch. The once promising job with significant career potential had spiraled into despair of inter-office politics and accusations that left Matthew depressed and unwilling to spend time with his sister or peers.


Matthew's Long Hours At CN Took Their Toll
It all came crashing down early last week, on July 21st. The first sign was when Matthew's CenterNetworks e-mail stopped working, and the daily shipment of Barnum and Bailey animal crackers didn't arrive. Then, two of the stories Matthew had filed were printed under Stern's byline, without his being mentioned as a contributing reporter. But Stern wouldn't take phone calls and Matthew was left to fend for himself. The next day, we realized what had happened. Stern, in a public missive, fired Matthew, without contacting him or myself, and continuing his rant about how Matthew was slacking off and creating FriendFeed accounts, accusations later proven untrue by FriendFeed interns Dan Hsaio and Ross Miller, who looked into the the service's logs following the allegations.


Stern's Hallucinations Fueled the Firing
Over the last eight days, as a family we've had to do a lot of soul-searching. Matthew, for one, swears he's had it with the blogging business, though it's not clear what line of profession he intends to take next. And if that weren't enough, on Monday, the long-promised Barney poster finally arrived, a stark reminder of one of the many unfulfilled promises by Stern and his crew. What should have been a case of spotting talent early, and helping to guide a young prodigy through the ranks instead was one that smacked of servitude, double-speaking and unhappiness. While we know we have a legal case against Stern and CenterNetworks proper over the unfulfilled iPhone, lack of proper advance notice of contract termination, and unfair child labor practices, we're going to swallow our pride and move on as a family. It's been hard, but we felt the right thing was to leave with our heads held high, without dragging this out through the morass that is the American judicial system.

So Pete "Peanut" Carreira, Stern may be whispering sweet nothings to you now and calling you a serious Seesmic star, but watch your back and protect yourself before what happened to Matthew happens to you as well.